Lets take a break from all the seriousness out there, and have a talk about something we all love. ZOMBIES. To be specific single zombies. All to often we lump these undead creatures together. We see them as a shambling horde, apposed to what they are. An undead army made up of individuals! So today I'm going to recognize some undead that really stand out from mob, as zombies of great distinction and class. Here is THE TOP FIVE ZOMBIES!

(This is purely my opinion, but if you disagree go a head and comment on you're own personal favourite zombie)

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5. Bicycle Girl
As seen in: Walking Dead Episode 1

Its kind of sad to think the height of this woman's acting career is probably going to be Bicycle Girl. But I'm one to talk cause the height of my career was me being replaced on 'Video on Trial' for Gilbert Godfrey impersonator.
Bicycle girl is number five on this list because... well shes one zombie I was sure everyone would remember. Is there anyone out there that doesn't watch 'the Walking Dead'?
Bicycler girl is the first zombie we and Rick see in the show, and she leaves a hell of an impression. The moment I saw Bicycle Girl was the moment I knew that the effects on this show, would be on par with the greatest of zombie movies. Sadly the shows budget is slowly being whittled away, so seeing cool zombies will be few and far between... Oh wait, seeing ANY zombies on the show is pretty rare...

4. Bub
As seen in: Day of the Dead

Ok, so that clip was edited, but it was awesome anyway.

Bub is a zombie everyone should know. If you're a zombie fan and you haven't seen 'Day of the Dead' then shame on you. If you're a zombie fan and you don't know who George A. Romaro is... then you aren't a zombie fan at all you lying sack of shit.
Bub is a test subject of Dr. Logan Aka: Dr. Frankenstein... Wait a minute... Dr. Logan named his pet zombie 'Bub'. Hilarious.
Dr. Wolverine's theory is that zombie's can be trained to not attack humans. And Bub is his shining example of this. Bub is more like a man with a handicap then a zombie. Considering Romaro's love of social commentary, (see original Dawn of the Dead), I suspect that Bub appearing as if he has down syndrom was intestinal. (Not a typo, just a zombie pun.)
Possibly Georges message was that the mentally handicap are people too, and should be treated as such, or... something. Who cares back to Bub.
Dr. Logan is killed by the movies villain Capt. Rhodes. When Bub finds Dr. Logan's body, he figures it must of been Rhodes, and is launched into a Zombie berserker rage! Snikt!
So, getting his undead hands on a gun, Bub gets even, shooting Rhodes and leaving him for the other zombies to rip apart.

3. Tarman
As seen in: Return of the Living Dead

Tarman is probably the most dangerous Zombie on this list. Not to mention the coolest looking. Tarman is from 'Return of the Living Dead', an American zombie movie meant to cash in on the Romero zombie flicks.
'The Return of the Living Dead' zombies and the 'Night of the Living Dead' zombies, fused together make the traditional zombie we all usually think of, when we hear the word. In the Romero movie zombies are slow, shambling creatures of the undead, where if you destroy the brain you've stopped the Zombie. In 'Return' they're quicker, smarter and... you can't kill them. Destroying the brain does shit all.
The coolest thing about the 'Return' zombies, and what they added to zombie culture, is their love of brains. They need to eat brains, because its the only thing that stops them from feeling endless pain.
Tarman is on this list simply because of how cool he looks. Hes a chemical waste zombie, who is large and imposing. Bicycle Girl was cool looking, but not intimidating.

2. Zombie shark fighter.
As Seen in: Zombi 2

Some explanation for these last two. In Italy they made a crap ton of zombie flicks. A bunch of them are unofficial sequels to 'Dawn of the Dead', which in Italy was called Zombi (No E'). Italian film maker Lucio Fulci, (Lucio is like, if Ed Wood, and Romero had a baby). He made several zombie movies during his career, such as 'Zombi 2', 'Zombi 3', and the bizarre 'City of the Living Dead'.
His movies are shit, but they can be enjoyed for the gore and camp. They're great movies to watch and rift.
The best zombie Lucio Fulci ever showed us was this nameless Zombie that battles a shark. This Zombie is pure bad ass! Not to mention this is closes we'll probably ever get to 'JAWS meets the FLESH EATERS.'



1. Zombie Micheal
As seen in: Burial Ground

Having just watched that clip you probably noticed, that little boy wasn't a zombie. What you probably didn't notice was, that wasn't a little boy at all, that was a thirty year old midget playing a little boy.
Why cast a midget to play a little boy you ask? Its not because the movie is gory or freighting. But because the character of Micheal is a little boy, with a hardcore Oedipus Rex complex. Which in laymans terms means, HE WANTS TO FUCK HIS MOM.
All through this Italian zombie flick he's interrupting his mom while being banged, and giving the guy a death stare. OR running up to his mom scared and grabbing a hand full of her boob. OR slipping his hand up her dress... Fuck was it creepy. You watch this all and go... “Oh yeah, theres zombies in this movie too!”
To be fair, Micheal was far creeper as a living, breathing, human, then he was as a member of the undead. But its still clear in the end, that zombie Micheal still wants a piece of his moms apple pie.





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