Okay, two things. First, a story I forgot to tell about when I saw 'Amazing Spider-Man'. When I was in line to buy my ticket for the movie, an elderly women got in behind me. I went through just after hearing her say, “One seniors ticket.”
The woman was a stereotypical, fragile old lady. I looked at her and thought, 'MAN! YOU LOOK LIKE AUNT MAY!' Heck, for all I knew she was dressed up as Aunt May for the movie.
I took maybe twelve steps away. Then I heard a clunk sound, like someone had dropped their large drink. I turned to give the person my silent condolences, since dropping a 5 dollar drink? That blows. Thats not what had happened though, what happened was the old woman lost her balance and did a face plant into the wall, knocking her self out.
In a instant I thought, shit, if she had been in line in front of me, I may have noticed her falling and I could have grabbed her, or helped her. I thought, is there anything I can do? People have already rushed to her care, and someone was already dialling 9-1-1. What was there for me to do? And the answer was... Nothing, so I turned the fuck around and watched Spider-Man.

Second thing. I want to talk about the big violence of the week, the shooting in Colorado during the midnight screening of 'The Dark Knight Rises.' These two things relate in many ways. First off, both happened in a movie theatre, during a screening of a comic book movie. And for me, they both caused me to reflect and think... What would I have done?
I can't honestly answer that, If I had been that theatre there is no telling how I would react. But with every little, personal story I hear come out of this, I get a little more terrified. I've read stories of a guy seeing his girlfriend get shot, and hearing her scream for only a moment before a second bullet struck her in the head.
Or another man who threw himself atop his girlfriend and best friend and took bullets for them, leading to his own death, but their survival. Its scary stuff. Stuff no one ever wants to experience.

The Saturday after the shooting, the day after I saw and LOVED the 'Dark Knight Rises' I saw the cell phone video taken outside the theatre after the shooting. I was nervous watching it, I was concerned for the people that stood around outside the theatre slack jawed, gocking, at the people poring out of the theatre crying, some splattered in blood, their own, or other.
I watched and thought, WHY! WHY ARE YOU STANDING! THERE! This early after the shooting there is no telling where the shooter is, or if he's alone. For all they knew his next stop would be the fucking lobby, or he could have a buddy waiting to start phase two in the parking lot.
I learned a valuable lesson watching these fucking people who just couldn't walk away. I learned that if I see something horrific happen, and I am powerless to stop it (which I often will be). I'll turn to the people I'm with and say, 'Lets get the fuck out of here. We can read about this later.' I don't need to witness it myself.

As soon as I first heard about the shooting, I knew this would mean some irrational fall out. People needing something or someone to blame aside from the obvious people. I was sure we'd hear the usual shit, movies, video games and music caused this. And since it was a movie based on a comic... maybe comics will be blamed as well.
I was right, people think he was inspired by a scene in the 'Dark Knight Returns' by Frank Miller. People are saying that its the violence of the movies that drove him to do it. This all of course distracts from the possibility that maybe, just maybe... James Holmes was an unhappy, fractured human being, who for some fucked up reason could only find relief by doing something horrible. In which case, what made him this way? Probably a combination of a million things.
Gun laws will be debated like they always have after a shooting. And people are going to look for something to blame. One man has already filed a lawsuit. What he went through was traumatic, and I'm sure he was thinking emotionally not logically, but his lawsuit is retarded. Lets look at it.

First he's suing,
The theatre. He claims it was negligent for the theater to have an emergency door in the front that was not alarmed or guarded. It's widely believed Holmes entered the theater with a ticket, propped the emergency door open from inside, went to his car and returned with guns.

Okay, lets look at this in parts. Usually its considered negligent for a theatre to NOT have an emergency door. He's not complaining about that though, he's complaining about it not being guarded or alarmed.
If it had been guarded or alarmed, it may have saved some lives, I'll agree to that. But you can't expect the theatre to have an armed guard at every (or ANY) fire exit. As a far as the alarm is concerned, this would mean that every joe blow, or jerk off kid who walks out of the movie via the fire exit would interrupt the screening.
I've seen hundreds of people go out the fire exit in a theatre, (dark theatres where you couldn't possibly read “Alarm will sound” written on the door if you weren't looking for it) but I've only ever heard of ONE shooting in a movie theatre EVER.
Theatre is not to blame for this shooting. The person to blame is named James Holmes. He is the one that propped open the door and got the guns. You could argue that the American Government is to blame, since you know... laxed gun laws and all. But not the theatre. That being said, he could win this one.


2. Holmes' doctors. He says it appears Holmes was on several medications -- prescribed by one or more doctors -- at the time of the shooting and he believes the docs did not properly monitor Holmes.

Does he know what properly monitoring him means? I sure don't. I guess hindsight is 22, this guy obviously should have been locked up in a institute away from all things pointy, and I like to think that the doctors, if they knew Holmes was violent, would have done something about it. But the second thing I heard about the shooting, was 'He was a nice, intelligent guy'. No one saw this coming from him.
I'm also left thinking about the documentary 'Generation RX'. Its about the effects of psychological meds on teens and children and how it really effects their mind. They claim that meds for depression and bi-polar disorder given to teens actually results in more damage then anything. They give examples like the columbine shooting, where the two shooters were on meds. But again, could be miss placed blame, blame the meds, not the illness, or even blame the meds for the illness. Or maybe a guy named James Holmes shot up a theatre.

3. Warner Bros. Karpel says "Dark Knight Rises" was particularly violent and Holmes mimicked some of the action. The attorney says theater goers were helpless because they thought the shooter was part of the movie. Karpel tells TMZ, "Somebody has to be responsible for the rampant violence that is shown today."

This on is the most retarded of the bunch. I've seen the movie, the movie is PG 13, PG 13 is not particularly violent. No more violent then any other action movie. And he mimicked some of the action?... Yes you're right guns were shot in the movie, just like... nearly every other action movie/every other act of violence in REALITY.
I've heard that a lot of people first thought it was part of the movie, giving the shooter a 6 second edge. But thats not the movies fault! Its a movie! Shit like that happens all the time. “Somebody has to be responsible for the rampant violence shown today” Yes! His name is JAMES HOLMES! THEY ALREADY CAUGHT HIM! And if anyone is to blame for this whole thing, its him.


If you think violent entertainment causes people to be violent, you're a fucking moron. Violent entertainment is a 100 times less violent then it used to be. Because violent entertainment used to be real. 'Hostal' back in ancient times wouldn't have been a FAKE movie, it would be a public display of torture.
I want everyone looking for someone to blame, to think critically, to the point that your brain hurts. Don't just point your finger and stop there. James Holmes shot a bunch of people. He is to blame directly. You'll then ask, WHY? What made him do it? This question opens a unlimited number of more questions, cause no one thing made James Holmes who he is. No single moment created him, but 22 years of moments. When you start to dissect him, his life, his interest, you'll get to the point where you ask yourself a question like, 'How is the fact that he liked crunchy peanut butter, and Stephen King, relate to him killing people?' Your brain will start to hurt, and you'll only be able to answer 'I don't know.' Thats when you stop.
You stop thinking about 'Why?', you stop trying to understand and find someone to blame. And you just go out and enjoy a movie, just like you always have. Remembering that out of the millions of people that have gone to the theatre, something bad has only happened once.
Remember that the world is actually the least violent its ever been, and you are statistically, safe. Uncompromisable, emotionless numbers say so. Don't be afraid.

 

I don't know what I hate more. Moving or job hunting. Moving is a little more physically demanding, but job hunting is psychologically demanding. But at least while job hunting there is no couches involved. Fuck I hate moving couches. So long, and awkwardly shaped, never want to fit through doors properly. If they weren’t so damn comfortable, I'd organize burnings.


Anyway, its been a week since I've had consistent updates. So I've decided that this is the perfect time for me to... fill up your time?
Here is the deal. Films, tv shows and video games have ALWAYS been more popular with the general audience then the comics themselves. Let me put things in perspective for a moment. 'The Dark Knight' made 1billion dollars at the box office. Lets say, for simplicities sake, that the average amount to see a movie is 10 bucks. That is a 100 million people who saw 'The Dark Knight' in theatre. In DC's new 52 relaunch, 'The Dark Knight #1' Comic sold 109,321 copies. Why? Why are people so open to the idea of watching a Batman movie, but not read the comic? Well, there are many explanations.

1.Comics are lame, and for kids. (have to be diehard)
2.Comics are to much of a commitment of time.
3.Comics cost to much.
4.There is so many comics, where do I even start?
5.Where do I even get comics?
6.I don't even know what comics I'd even like.

These, are all valid reasons for the most part, I get that it is an intimidating hobby to get into on the fly. But guess what, I'm here to help you.

Number 1.

“Comics are Lame and for Kids.”

What a bunch of horse shit! You're a fucking dumb ass if you think this is true. Read 'Chronicles of Wormwood' and tell me comics are for kids. Oh wait. You’re an ignorant non comic reading fuck so you'd never read it. So how about I just tell you about it.

There is a scene in 'Chronicles of Wormwood', where the Pope, is being fucked in the ass, by a nun wearing a strap on... Yeah, give that to your nephew as a gift at his first communion.
Or even, 'Pride of Baghdad', which features a group of lions who escape from the Baghdad zoo during the opening assault by American troops. Its like Lion King sort of, except you know... with Lion rape.

There are comics for kids, teens, and adults... and for sexually charged adults. Everything from Disney to 'Two Girls One Cup' is covered in the funny books. Or, even something like... I don't know 'The Walking Dead'. Does anything about that show seem like its for children?

Here is some comic book knowledge. Most mainstream comics are for a PG 13 audience, to appeal to both adults and kids. Its actually my understanding, that the all ages market for comics is struggling to stay alive.

People who read comics when they were 14, back in 1968, kept on reading comics. They are now 44 years old. They're not interested in reading Super Hero Squad. They loved Adam West as Batman, running around with Burt Ward, but now, as middle aged men, they want Christian Bale.

There are a million comics that appeal to adults. But on the off chance that you're looking for comics for kids. Based on reputation, I can say that 'Archie Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog' is super popular, but I'd also recommend 'Archie Comics: Megaman', or anything from PaperCutz or BOOM! Studios children books. I can highly recommend, based on experience 'Darkwing Ducks' current series is very enjoyable.

But if we're talking about kids a little more mature, or kids that would appreciate more complex narratives, then I recommend older issues of... well any super hero comic. Old issues of Spider-Man, or Batman are excellent for kids.


Number 2.

“Comics are to much of a commitment of time.”

A comic book movie can range anywhere from an hour and half too two hours. 'The Amazing Spider-man' is in its late 600's. You can't be expected to read all that obviously, though I can applaud you for wanting to... and... I will explain how you can easily and cheaply later. Right now I'm going to be realistic.

Comics, like any hobby, takes a degree of time commitment. It took time to read 'Hunger Games', or 'Game of Thrones'. Most video games are around 40 hours long. You have to schedule in time to sit down and watch 'Breaking Bad' or 'Walking Dead'. Heck, 'Smallville' based around the Superman mythos, lasted ten seasons, a wide audience was committed to watching it each week, for ten years.

Laziness, is a lazy excuse. Yes, comic books do require, if you buy issue to issue, that once a month you buy a chapter. Also requires some research, and a little “general” knowledge. You don't have to read every issue of Spider-man to understand what is happening in Spider-man. But it doesn't hurt to read his Wiki page.


Number 3.

“Comics cost to much.”

Comics used to cost like 5 to 10 cents, this is back in the day when you could get a blowie for a penny. It was a golden age... for comics, not blow jobs.
Now a days, a single issue of a marvel comic in Canada, cost around 5 bucks, and 5 bucks a month is reasonable, but people hardly ever read a single comic title, so four titles? Thats 20 bucks a month, can be kind of costly... But not really.

And it can get even cheaper. I spend a different amount each month, since I collect my comics in hard cover books, or trade paper backs. This means a few things. It means that I'm months behind in stories, so I have to traverse the internet carefully or I may spoil the stories for myself. Also means I have to wait patiently for the next volume to be released.

Trade paper backs/Hard Covers can range anywhere from 15-40 bucks, some omnibus are a lot more, like 80-100, but don't worry about that. Generally collected editions, collect anywhere from 4-30 issues.
That's right, you can get 30 issues for 15$. 30 issues that individually cost around 5$. Don't make me do the math. Its obvious that is pretty cheap. I'll talk about those, cheap collections soon, actually I'll talk about the bonuses to reading collected editions period in a little.

There is also comics on disc that cost, around 50 bucks. Example of this is '44 Years of Fantastic Four' which collects 550 issues. Only problem with this is you don't PHYSICALLY have the books. But you have to understand that the issues collected are a lot of the time is really rare. And as we learned in my first blog post, rare comics can cost a LOT of money.

The point is that comics don't need to cost that much. You can read comics cheaply, or I don't know... for free on the internet. There are plenty of web comics with just as much depth and excitement as any comics on the shelves. And I'll get to them later on as well...


END OF PART 1

 
Everyone has a favourite word, wither its the sound of it, or the definition, you love it. Its a word that you'll find a way to work into a conversations, a word you say instinctively, without a thought, its a default word.

Spending a lot of time writing, and speaking, I've come to love a few words myself. So I've gathered four of my favourite words, and their definitions to share with you today. So, in no particular order, my favourite words.


gnarl·y [nahr-lee]
adjective, gnarl·i·er, gnarl·i·est.

1.
gnarled.
2.
Slang . distasteful; distressing; offensive; gross: a comic noted for his gnarly humour.
3.
Cool. Good.

Clearly I'm a massive fan of the word gnarly, it is in the sites title after all. Just say the word? 'Gnar-ly' its strong at the start, but ends all soft with the 'ly'. Gnarly is a word that growing up in the early 90's resonated 'cool'. You know who was gnarly? Zachary Morris. You know who else? Michelangelo (Not the artist, the turtle... Though rumour has it, that the artist enjoyed gnarly stuff relating to my second favourite word on this list.)


sphinc·ter [sfingk-ter]
noun Anatomy .
a circular band of voluntary or involuntary muscle that encircles an orifice of the body or one of its hollow organs.

We all know what I mean when I say 'sphincter.' You know that I have a disgusting obsession with 'boners', and 'butt holes.' And there is a verity terms for the butt. Rusty waggon wheel, balloon knot, O' ring. But when you want to say 'ass hole' with a air of sophistication, when you want to talk adult like an adult. You use 'sphincter'. Some say 'anus' is in the same class as 'sphincter', those people are wrong
Anus is uttered all across the playground, and school yard. 'Anus' is immature. 'Sphincter' wears a turtle neck.


conch  [kongk, konch]
noun, plural conchs  [kongks] Show IPA, con·ches  [kon-chiz] Show IPA.

1.
the spiral shell of a gastropod, often used as a horn.
2.
any of various marine gastropods.
3.
the fabled shell trumpet of the Tritons.
4.
( often initial capital letter ) Slang: Sometimes Disparaging .
a.
a native or inhabitant of the Florida Keys.
b.
a Bahamian.
5.
Also, concha. Architecture . a smooth concave surface consisting of or resembling the interior of a semidome, as the surface of a vault, a trompe, or the head of a niche.

'Conch' to me sounds like a swear, or insult. Try this on for size; “Kim Kardashian has a dirty conch.”
“You're such a conch.” “I love me some ripe conch.”
It sounds dirty, but really isn't. For me it makes me think of another C word that is considered a sensitive swear. And thus, its perfect substitute.


on·o·mat·o·poe·ia [on-uh-mat-uh-pee-uh, ‐mah-tuh‐]
noun
1.
the formation of a word, as cuckoo, meow, honk,  or boom,  by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent.
2.
a word so formed.
3.
the use of imitative and naturally suggestive words for rhetorical, dramatic, or poetic effect.

KRASH! BANG! SPLUDGE! This site is a comic site. So clearly I love comics, and running side by side with comics is 'Onomatopoeia.' Not only is 'onomatopoeia' itself awesome to say, everything that falls under it, is too. KA-BOOM! SLAM! OOF! GOO! RAWR! That shit makes me smile.

And allow me to leave you with this.