Okay, starting today off with the end of my Rainbow Brite 'review'. I know I said that I was going to watch episodes 4-5, but do to lack of time and personal interest (I feel Learned everything I need to learn about Rainbow Brite) I'm going to end with episode 4.
So my run down. What did I think of the show? In all honesty, it was okay. I'm not going to become a fan, but if some day in the distant future, VERY distant future I have a daughter, or niece and I see 'Rainbow Brite' on RedRay I'd buy it.
For a girls cartoon, 'Rainbow Brite' has a slight edge to it. Its villains are dark, and the tone is adventures. Its themes are nothing special, neither is the art style. It just looks like strawberry shortcake, and the themes are the same old 'Carebear' crap. But 'Rainbow Brite' is LESS gay then 'Carebears'.
Speaking of gay, how is it that 'Rainbow Brite' NOT a gay symbol? How does Madonna with her gross tits, and man arms, become symbol of the gay community but not a character named 'RAINBOW BRITE.'

Anyway, to fill out this post a little more, here is “5 Mixed Media Urban Legends!... Some of which I may have made up myself.”

Alfonso Ribeiro taught Michael Jackson how to moonwalk

Who is Alfonso Riberio you ask? You may know him better as Carlton Banks of Bel-air. The guy that does this famous little dance.

The story starts back in 1983. Alfonso had just stared in a Broadway show called “The Tap Dance Kid.” Showing that he had obvious dance talent, he was recruited for a Pepsi commercial featuring the king of pop, Micheal Jackson.

Not the Pepsi commercial where Jackson's head burst into the flame.

No, this one.

See that move Carlton did? The Moon Walk? That was the first time Jackson had seen it. He liked it so much that between takes MJ had Alfonso Riberio teach him the move... its also safe to assume that, considering the age of Alfonso, Jackson touched him... But that's not the point. Point is Jackson learned his signature dance move from the guy famous for not being able to dance well.

A munchkin hung himself on the set of Wizard of Oz

Dwarfism is a fairly rare condition. And back in 1939 when they were called together to film The Wizard of Oz many of them had never even met another midget. What they found out upon meeting one another in a mass scale, was that they had more in common then their short limbs. They also all loved to party!
Every night after shooting the munchkins got completely pissed. 'Shmamered' if you will. Fraternizing together lead to many relationships and bonds being made. One particular paring involved a little person named David Connelly, and an unknown little lady. They started a romantic relationship, and David fell hard. A lot harder then his lady friend.
No one knows what happened. But at one particular Midget fest, the two had a falling out, and David left the party very upset.
The next day he wasn't seen on set... until they had filmed this particular scene.

See that thing swinging in the background of the scene? Thats David Connelly, a heart broken midget.

Die Hard was based on a true story.

The plot of Die Hard is John McClain an off duty police officer is stuck in a office building with a group of 'terrorist'. Shoeless, and armed primarily with his wit, John McClain must survive, and save the hostages, which include his estranged wife. Believe it or not, this story has its roots, lightly buried in the grounds of reality.
The true story takes place in Japan. Where Fu Nakatomi a off duty constable was accidentally invited to a party at an office building (Fu Nakatomi is a common name in Japan). Moments before Fu was to excuse himself from the party the room was stormed by the Asian Dawn terrorist group.
Fu, being the badass he was, was able to reason with the terrorist and have some of the hostages freed. When things appeared to go sour hours later, Fu was forced to kill a terrorist with his bare hands, and rush the remaining hostages to safety.
There is actually a few references to these true events in Die Hard. Such as the building in the film being called Nakatomi Tower, and the tong in cheek joke about the Asian Dawn terrorist organization.


Jackie Chan fakes his injuries.

We've all watched Jackie Chan movies, bubbling with anticipation for the end 'blooper' reel where we get to see Jackie Chan do his stunts and get carried away by paramedics. But have you ever wondered, how do they ever finish a movie if Jackie is constantly breaking every bone in his body?
Its simple... He doesn't actually break any of his bones. Jackie actually FAKES his injuries for the amusement of the audience. It started out as a gag, but spawned into a running gimmick, where Jackie would add lib injuries and then later have them cut into injury reels.
To take this out of the realm of urban legend (That I may have just made up). Lets talk about a strange FACT about Jackie Chan. Did you know that he started out as erotic film star? Its amazing to think that a former porn star would later on in life be the subject of a childrens cartoon.

Faker...

Steven Spielberg cut off a mans fingers.

To be fair it was an accident. On the set of Jaws Mr. Spielberg was showing off the giant robotic shark (Bruce) to some grips. He showcased the animatronic monsters movements while the men watched. Afterwords they were allowed to inspect the machines mechanics.
When one gentleman placed his hand inside the giant sharks mouth to inspect a system of pistons... well, Mr. Spielberg had this expression behind the control panel.
Deciding to give the grip a scare Steven closed the jaws of... Jaws, on the grips hand. Unfortunately for Steven and even more the grip, the robot sharks controls were a little fidgety. And it clamped down HARD onto the man's fingers, leaving him with four nubs and a thumb.
They rushed him to the hospital and sowed his fingers back on. Steven Spielberg footed the medical bills and the grip, though lacking some feeling, gained full motor functions.

 
For a while now I've wanted to watch old cartoons that I may have missed as a child, and present my thoughts of them here on my blog. I always figured I'd start with something in my wheel house of interest. Maybe 'Voltron', or 'Thundercats', something with a great deal of impact on geek culture... Instead I'm beginning with 'Rainbow Brite'.

Not only is 'Rainbow Brite' a girls cartoon, its a 'Hallmark' cartoon. Most cartoons in the 80's were actually half hour long commercials directed towards kids to sell toys. Rainbow Brite didn't start as a toy though, her roots were in greeting and gift cards.
Originally intended to combat the American Greetings franchise 'Strawberry Shortcake', 'Rainbow Brite' quickly found its own footing, developing a following among young girls, and people who love painfully cutesy shit.
Naturally success meant they had to expand with merchandising. Clothing, toys, live road shows, and a god damn television special, all got spewed out. Syndicated television is where I come in. There was 13 episodes of the Rainbow Brite cartoon. That's right, only 13! And thats including the television specials. But when I was searching up popular 80's cartoons, Rainbow Brite was all over the place. People loved that colourful little tart.
Being the curious guy I am, I had to check it out. I began with episodes 4-5. Since they are actually first when it comes to the continuity of 'Rainbow Brite'... Though I imagine 'Rainbow Brite' isn't exactly heavy when it comes to plot.

The story starts off terrifyingly... Not like real terrifying, but like... Disney terrifying. Its dark and gloomy, thunder echos through the land, when out of nowhere teleported to this land of darkness is Rainbow Brite.
Shes been sent there by God? I'm not sure who sends her there, but it certainly seems like God did it. Her quest is to find the sphere of light, so she can bring, “Colour and happiness” to all. She quickly realizes that not everyone in this land is interested in, “Colour and happiness”. And after a encounter with the rape trees from 'The Evil Dead', she runs into Twinky the sprite.
Question. Why do sprites/faeries and pixies always have to have such emasculating names? I'm 98% sure that Twinky is a dude. Maybe its a 'A Boy Named Sue' type situation. Like his Father wanted to toughen him up, so he named him Twinky. If that is the case, it didn't work, cause Twinky screeches in terror every second he gets.
They band together, as Rainbow Brite forces Twinky to risk his life for her, by constantly reminding him, “ITS MY QUEST!”, “BUT ITS MY QUEST TWINKY!”, “CALL QUEST TWINKY TO MEET HOT SINGLES!”

I feel like a slut for posting that... If only I was getting paid for it...

Anyway, Twinky and Rainbow, bumble through the horrors of this land without colour, and discover a bunch of frozen sprites, and a horse. Since little girls love horses, and Rainbow is a girl, shes naturally attracted to the animal.
The duo is attacked by a crazy ass vulture and for some unexplainable reason, the horse is resurrected and thawed. I'm just assuming that whenever something like this happens in Rainbow Brite God did it.
The horse of course can speak. Which surprises Rainbow. She wasn't surprised by the fuzzy sprite named after a hostess treat, or the talking trees that grabbed at her, but a talking horse? GET OUT OF HERE! Horses cant talk. That is of course, unless that horse is the famous Mr. Ed.

The horse is named Starlight and he does a better job then I could ever do describing himself. “I'm Starlight! The most wonderful Horse in the universe! Of course I can talk!”
Starlight, aside from telling us all how awesome he is all the time, informs us that Rainbow Brite needs to have the Colour Belt if she plans on defeating the evil King of Shadows and collecting the light sphere. This is where the plot gets so contrived it may as well be a video game. You have to collect this, to get this, to do this, and collect that, so you can open the door to that other thing so you can beat the final boss.
This is when we're introduced to the mandatory bumbling villain’s, Murk and Lurk. I have no idea which one is which. All I know is I like the one that looks like Snufflopicus. They are bumbling morons, who I think technically are mentally retarded. They attempt to stop the Rainbow crew but they screw it up... and by chance they stop the Rainbow crew... Huh? Yeah. They fail upward, by forcing Starlight the most awesome horse in the world, Twinky and Rainbow Brite into a river, full of piranha, towards some rapids.
It seems like they're about to A: drown, B: be smashed against rocks, or C: get eaten by fish. And after watching this episode four times now, I have to say, I'm hoping for 'all of the above' . What happens instead is they reach the shore and discover a baby wrapped in a cloth. They take this baby to a cave for shelter... This part concerns me. We have a child being taken care of by a little girl, a sprite named Twinky and a horse. It was scary enough when it was Tom Selleck, Steve Gutenberg, and Ted Danson.
Of course, the hand of god also placed the Colour belt in this random cave they chose to hide in. And thus episode four of Rainbow Brite Ends...

PART TWO

 
People always have something to bitch about in comic book movies. Collected here are the top five complaints about comic book movies that annoy me. Enjoy!


Giant Squid Monster

I'm here writing about 'Watchmen' without my copy of 'Watchmen' nearby. So bare with me if I get some facts wrong.
If you've seen the film 'Watchmen', you know in the end Ozymandias has framed Dr. Manhattan as a mass murder. This plot is tightly wrapped, very secure. All the pieces fall into place. The only problem? Its not what happened in the comics.
When ever an adaptation is made, a group of people get their panties in a bunch. This group is called, the fans. Fans usually are purest, and any changes are a slight not only against the property, but to them personally.
Example: “Kristen Stewart doesn't look anything like ME! She can't be Bella Swan.”
'Watchmen' has a huge fan base. And when it was announced that a film was being made, their pants not only bunched up, they were back drafted into their ass. People would not subtle for anything less then a exact adaptation, zero changes...
...Naturally they had to make some changes. Some for the better, some for the worse. But none got as much back lash as the ending (They changed the ending).
In the graphic novel, Ozymandias does not frame Dr. Manhattan, but instead frames a fictitious giant alien squid. The squid was designed and created by scientist and artist who believed it was for a Hollywood blockbuster.
To understand this, imagine Steven Spielberg on the set of 'Jurassic Park' had his crew create a super realistic T-rex, then killed them all. That's what Ozymandia's plan was. Its really not that big of a plot point, and I personally think the movies ending is better.
To most 'Watchmen' fans? The lack of Giant Squid Monster was the movies greatest flaw, and instantly made it shit. Which is retarded, it REALLY changes nothing in the plot. Its a superficial complaint, actually most complaints about comic book movies are superficial complaints.

Lack of costume

I'm going to admit something to you all. Its a personal belief of mine that you have to be tiny bit gay to be into wrestling, and super hero comics. Other wise, why would we be so into guys in flamboyant costumes? And comic fans are VERY picky about the costumes.
You'll get some serious backlash if your super hero movie isn't loyal to the costumes. Example, lots of people are against the new Spider-man reboot because of the costume. Lots of people were against the X-men films because of their lack of costumes. They didn't want those black leather costumes.They wanted this:

The fact is not all super hero costumes are suitable for reality. Bright yellow and blue doesn't translate well into film. Though 'X-Men First Class' did a great job mimicking the Jim Lee's yellow and blue uniforms from the 90's.
The X-men costumes are fine, but if some studios had it their way, many costumes would be altered to retarded levels. Example, Fox wanted Ben Affleck as Daredevil to NOT wear a mask. Famously Kevin Smith has told of his experiences writing a Superman sequel, where the producer (Jon Peters), didn't want Superman to wear a cape, or tights... or fly.
One of the greatest shames though is the Green Goblin in Sam Rami's 'Spider-man'. I liked the helmet version, but when I saw the test footage of the mask version? I fell in love.

Fans are picky though, and will bitch endlessly about every nitpick they can pinch between their fingers. Whether its the CGI, the costume or the characters RACE.

Changing Race


Lets go to 'the Hunger Games'. There is some character named Rue, who was black in the film and the fans were annoyed. Having not realized that Rue in the book was in fact black. Luckily racial ambiguity in comics isn't a problem since its a visual medium. And in the event that you aren't sure about a characters race, (for what ever reason), its easy to tell.
If a character is black, It'll be clear by their name. (Black Bolt, Black Panther, Bling, Brother Voodo ect). Some reason black characters don't hit it as big in comics. Maybe there is no real interesting black characters (since most are characterized by the fact they're not white), or maybe we're all just a bunch of racist.
The strange truth is, a lot of the black characters in comics, kind of need to be black. Most where made during the civil rights movement, and thus a African American super hero was quite poignant.
On the other hand, its not very crucial now a days that Peter Parker is white. He could easily be black, or Latin American, and his character would stay the same... Sadly, must people don't feel that way.
People are more enraged by a change in race then any change to plot or costume. There was serious backlash when Micheal Clark Duncan played the King Pin. There was great annoyance when Heimdall of Thor was black. And there was serious rage when a British Actor was cast as Superman.
How did all of this racially incorrect casting affect the quality of each of these films? Not at all. Comic fans just like to bitch and whine.
What is a personal nitpick of my mine is when the films affect the comics. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) in the Marvel Ultimate Universe is not only black, but they requested that they base his design off of Samuel L. Jackson. Before that in the regular Marvel Universe (616), Nick Fury was white... At least for the 47 years leading up to the Avengers movie.
Now, for whatever reason, marvel was in love with their Ultimate Universe line for a while. Every video game based off a marvel character had the word 'Ultimate' wrenched into the title just for some kind of recognition. And the characters all wore their 'Ultimate' comics costumes... but retained all their 616 universe stories... Its all kind of confusing.
Regardless. 'The Avengers' movie needed a splash of colour beyond green, and Samuel L. Jackson was an obvious choice. Marvel worried they would confuse the general, none comic reading audience, when they decided to finally check out the source material and discover a white Nick Fury. So in their infinite wisdom they concocted a masterful plan.
It had been revealed that Nick Fury had at some point (Probably the 60s) splattered his seed into a sista. Meaning he had a illegitimate black son, named Marcus Johnson. In a mini series named 'Battle Scars'. Nick Fury retires... But not after Marcus loses his eye... here is the ending...

I'm looking for a word right now... and its not subtle.

Indian Slums & Adopted Joke

These last two are lumped together, since they're both kind of equally retarded, and both about the same movie. 'The Avengers'.
If you recall, early in the movie (I'm assuming everyone has seen it), we're introduced to Bruce Banner in what was apparently a Indian slum. He's using his medical knowledge to aid the sick there. Hes being a regular Norman Bethune... Except not a communist.
This scene didn't even register to me. I was just like, “Good Dr.Banner helping these poor sick people.” But India was just like, “Enough of this slum dog shit! We're not all that poor! We don't need fucking whites helping us!”... Yes I am paraphrasing slightly... honestly, only slightly. Also it helps if your read that line as if its being said by an angry Gerry Bednob.
Here is what I think. That 3 minute scene in 'The Avengers', didn't have people walking out of the theatre going, “Damn is India in the dumps.” By the end of 'The Avengers' people were to busy talking about the other 120 minutes. No one gives a shit about India, when their is a fucking giant green monster in the movie.
The second thing, was something that probably got a chuckle out of you in the theatre.

Thor: Have a care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother.
Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.
Thor: He's adopted.

Everyone in my theatre laughed, or at least it sounded that way. Apparently there was a group of people out there whose pouting was over shadowed by the yuks of the audience. This small group was the adopted.
An adoption group was highly insulted by the adoption joke. They felt it was unnecessary that they should be reminded of the fact that their parents didn't want them. So insulted as they were they did what anyone would do. Started a petition.

As noted in a petition created by Jamie Berke on Change.org, “According to your scriptwriter, the fact (Loki) was adopted is the reason he is a bad guy!...Being adopted is not something to use for the butt of jokes! Marvel, immediately cease using adoption as the butt of jokes AND issue a public apology to the adoption community!”

Holy shit. Fuck you, you adopted shit heads. Do you not shower because your worried the water will damage your thin skin? First let me explain the joke to you adopted fucks.
The fact that Loki was adopted isn't the reason he was a bad guy, the reason he was a bad guy was the fact that he's a power hungry asshole. The reason Thor points out that Loki is adopted was to distance himself by making a point of the fact that they're technically not blood.
So fuck you, and your public apology. I hope marvel makes MORE jokes about adoption just so you'll continue crying. Cause news flash asshole. No one feels bad for the kids that were adopted. People feel bad for the kids that HAVENT been adopted.
And I'm willing to bet those kids weren't offended by the joke in 'the Avengers'... Mostly because they haven't heard the joke, since they don't have parents to take them to go see it.


 
Last year it was announced that 'The Simpons' was being cancelled. This news, created some conflicting feelings for me. I love 'The Simpsons', its always been there, but like a elderly pet, or annoying grandparent, its gotten to the point where I'm ready to put it down.
We later found out that the cancellation of 'The Simpsons', was just a tactic by Fox to pressure the voice actors to take a substantial pay cut. This pay cut has resulted in 'The Simpsons' getting renewed for two more seasons. Again, I have mixed feelings.
Like I said, the yellow faces of Springfield have been around for my whole life. I've watched the show weekly for 23 years... okay, lets be fair, I probably didn't cognitively watch it until I was like, four or five. Still though... a long ass time.
'The Simpsons' at the beginning, (as its own series, not on the 'Tracy Ullman show'), was a satirical slice of the American middle class. The early seasons of 'The Simpsons' were genius. Norman Rockwell, for the 90's, with a whole lot of yellow.
Over time though the show succumb to gimmicks and guest stars. There was frequent changes of showrunners, but it wasn't until the era of Mike Scully (season 9-12) that the golden age of the Simpsons ended.
That is not to say, there wasn't still good episodes, just not as frequently. There was a gradual change in the humour of the show. Witty, subtle, satire, grew into wacky out of this world humour, and ridicules slap stick. These different facets of humour were always present, but not always as prominent.
That's something about the show I have to acknowledge. The show never stopped being funny, it just stopped being... 'The Simpsons'. It lost its balance of humour and heart. You watch a modern episode of 'The Simpsons', and the first ten minutes of the show are a write off. Its just random gags, that distracts from the plot. The episode starts, and from what the first 8 minutes suggest, you think episode is about, Apu being annoyed by Homer shopping at a different chain of grocery stores. Even the episodes title suggest it... but really its a episode about street artist Banksy, made... like a year after Banksy was popularized on the internet.
The problem with 'The Simpsons', is that its attempting to be topical. People compare the show to 'Family Guy'. People like to say that the show is trying to be like 'Family Guy'. But I don't buy that. I think that someone influential said it, everyone thought, 'that sounds like smart, critical thinking... perfect bandwagon to jump on.'
No, the show isn't much like 'Family Guy', no more then 'Family Guy' was like 'The Simpsons'. Cause if you recall, 'Family Guy' was originally called a rip-off of 'the Simpsons'. Either way, I think 'The Simpsons' is more like 'Saturday Night Live', or 'South Park'. Both shows are topical comedies, and in the case of 'SNL', there is a reliance on guest stars, and musical guest. This doesn't work for 'the Simpsons', because unlike those other shows I mentioned, an episode of 'the Simpsons' isn't produced in a week. It takes 6 to 8 months to produce a finished episode of the Simpsons. You know what that means? Those “awesome” topical episodes, are dated. And thus... not actually topical.
If this season of the Simpsons had ended up being the last, do you know what the last episode would have been?

Springfield is rated the town with the lowest self-esteem, so Lisa and Lady Gaga set out to raise everyone's spirits—through the power of a flash mob. 

First off, it would have been a Lisa episode. Second. Remember how last year flash mobs were cool? Well its not last year anymore. And to a lesser degree, as a member of the general audience, I care even less about Lady Gaga then I did when she first bleeped onto my radar.
Lady Gaga, is not how the show should have ended. We have two seasons left, why not make them count? Bring back past writers and show runners. Lets hear all the different voices this series had again, and bring back some of that gold. This series should end with fireworks, it shouldn't drift off into the night quietly.
The last Sunday night this show airs, should have EVERYONE, with their asses bolted to their seats, watching the triumphant finish of one of the greatest shows ever made.

UPDATE:
I just finished watching the episode, LISA GOES GAGA. And I have to say... Its probably the worse episode of the season.
The description given for the episode isn't even accurate. Lady Gaga, raises Springfield’s sprites by singing a 2 and half minute song about how, “Were all special, in our own way!” You know, contrived bull shit like that. But Lisa is still sad, since shes been voted most unpopular kid at school.
So Gaga, who has psychic abilities to predict unhappiness... For real... decides she must help Lisa. The flash mob in the description is a lame 30 second gag. The episode is an awful,PR stunt by Gaga. One of the easiest demographics to get a hold of, is the downtrodden. Just faking you give a shit, is enough to satisfy the masses.
This episode was so shallow. Sincerity was so vacant from this episode, it was painful to watch. Its the problem with having a guest star. You couldn't do an episode putting down Lady Gaga, and expect her to actually lend her voice to it. You have to build up your guest stars like they're fucking gods. And its SO annoying.
Its something 'South Park' has always gotten right. Do awful impersonations of celebrities, and really take the piss out of them. This episode was just pure trash, but at least it started a plot line and kept going with it.
The second last episode of the season, NED'N EDNA'S BLEND, starts with a SIX AND A HALF MINUTES! of Homer getting the role in the church passion play as Jesus, Homer worrying he may not remember his lines, Homer doing the play, and Homer accidentally injuring Ned, which leads to the reveal of Ned and Edna are married.
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FIRST SIX MINUTES! IT DOES NOTHING! Its pure filler, that has nothing to do with the actual plot of the episode. Its frustrating. GOD DAMMIT! Pick a narrative, and stick with it.




 
I keep seeing this goddamn picture of Adam Sandler in drag crushing a fucking horse. And in reply to that I offer up a cliche' “ Oh How the mighty have fallen.”

What the fuck is going on in Sandler's head? Does he have brain tumour, or growth on the interior of his skull that is putting pressure on the part of his brain that produces humour? When I showed my girlfriend the trailer to 'Jack and Jill' she replied to me, “Adam Sandler is dead to me.” And this made me question, how long exactly has he been a shambling corpse?

When did this guy go from funny man, to cinematic motaba virus? I mean I loved 'Billy Madison', 'Happy Gilmor', I can't tell you how many times I rented 'Waterboy'. And I had a friend who would watch 'Big Daddy' exclusively. Seriously it was the only movie he ever wanted to watch.

I loved those movies. But then some time after 'Mr. Deeds' he lost me. I watched 'Anger Management', and I pushed through '50 first dates', smiling at the end, because my face had cramped up from being so emotionless all the way through. And it needed to stretch.

What the fuck was going on? Why was he being so UN-funny?

Then it dawned on me, that Adam Sandler wasn't suddenly being 'unfunny' I had just grown out of him. He was no longer my cup of tea because I was no longer ten years old. I was maturing. My balls were sporting a crew cut, and pimples had taken root in my face. I was disgusting.

I had no interest in watching another film featuring Adam Sandler until 'Spanglish'. Sandler was hardly the focus of the story though, but the film was still good. It wasn't typical of Adam Sandler, it had its gimmick but didn't rely on it whole heatedly. And this direction he was going, of more “dramatic” roles that he had started with 'Punch Drunk Love' was going to be a good one, his yellow brick road.

Then he did the 'Longest Yard', which I didn't see due to my love of the original. Then it was 'Click'. My opinion of 'Click' is that it was shit, accept the end when he dies, and we get to see him be dramatic again. That dramatic bit at the end was fantastic, really they should have just cut out the gimmick of a magic remote and just had it be a story about life and how quickly it passes. Every day life is full of humour, and a comedian like Sandler could have easily drawn jokes from REAL LIFE, and created a excellent film. But instead we have him freezing time and farting in a witwouds face.


This is a good time to talk about Adam Sandler's gimmicks. Usually a story is built around a premise, but I've always felt Sandler's movies were built around gimmicks. It wasn't “The story about two firefighters getting married so they'd still get insurance.” as much as it was, “Adam Sandler pretends hes gay.” I'm getting a movie to far ahead though.

Before 'Chuck and Larry', there was a film that I just recently saw for the first time. I used it to wash the bad taste of 'Jack and Jill' out of my mouth. It was entitled 'Reign over me.' In it Sandler plays a severely psychologically damaged man who lost his family in the 9/11 attacks. He is full on dramatic, and is great. To think that he went from 'Reign over me' to 'Chuck and Larry' and 'Zohan' is sad. But not the most shocking part yet.

Next Sandler Movie I saw after 'Click' was 'Don't mess with the Zohan'. I was dragged to see it by a friend, who thankfully paid for my ticket. I'm not going to waste my time typing out my opinion of 'Don't mess with the Zohan', I'll simply defer you back to the clip of Nick Cage losing his shit.

After that cinematic mess that was Zohan, Sandler returned with 'Bedtime Stories' which was for children/I didn't see it, so I can't really knock it. But after that he joined up with his long time friend Judd Apatow to make a film called 'Funny People.' I love 'Funny People', its my favourite film featuring Adam Sandler.

I heard two frequent complaints about 'Funny People'. People say its to long, which is true. The length doesn't bother me, but I can see that complaint. The other thing is people say, “Its not funny.” My first complaint about that... complaint... is that first off, it may not be the same type of funny as 'Click', but it is very funny. Second, its not supposed to be funny you clod! The title is ironic. The movie is meant to show you a glimpse at the lives of Comedians, at different periods of their career.

One is Seth Rogen, at the start of his career, trying to find his footing and his comedic voice. The other is the big movie star George Simmions, played by Sandler, who has sold out on his comedy and is making shitty... gimmicky... huh. George Simmions is clearly based on Sandler. He is obviously poking fun at what his career has been reduced to. And that is where it gets fucked up.

HE KNOWS! He made 'Jack and Jill' knowing it was SHIT. He has openly mocked the types of movies hes pumping out, he pretty much says in 'Funny People'; “The people who like this shit are retarded.” And he STILL made 'Jack and Jill'. And people still went to go see it. I'm still forced to see ads proclaiming its DVD and Blue Ray release.

Adam Sandler is a comedic genius. Because he's openly mocked every single one of his fans. He has revealed his greatest joke in 'Funny People', and so many people missed it. The joke is, that he doesn't even need to try anymore. He just needs to make a silly sound or two, scrunch up his face in anger... and laugh all the way to the bank.