I don't know what I hate more. Moving or job hunting. Moving is a little more physically demanding, but job hunting is psychologically demanding. But at least while job hunting there is no couches involved. Fuck I hate moving couches. So long, and awkwardly shaped, never want to fit through doors properly. If they weren’t so damn comfortable, I'd organize burnings.


Anyway, its been a week since I've had consistent updates. So I've decided that this is the perfect time for me to... fill up your time?
Here is the deal. Films, tv shows and video games have ALWAYS been more popular with the general audience then the comics themselves. Let me put things in perspective for a moment. 'The Dark Knight' made 1billion dollars at the box office. Lets say, for simplicities sake, that the average amount to see a movie is 10 bucks. That is a 100 million people who saw 'The Dark Knight' in theatre. In DC's new 52 relaunch, 'The Dark Knight #1' Comic sold 109,321 copies. Why? Why are people so open to the idea of watching a Batman movie, but not read the comic? Well, there are many explanations.

1.Comics are lame, and for kids. (have to be diehard)
2.Comics are to much of a commitment of time.
3.Comics cost to much.
4.There is so many comics, where do I even start?
5.Where do I even get comics?
6.I don't even know what comics I'd even like.

These, are all valid reasons for the most part, I get that it is an intimidating hobby to get into on the fly. But guess what, I'm here to help you.

Number 1.

“Comics are Lame and for Kids.”

What a bunch of horse shit! You're a fucking dumb ass if you think this is true. Read 'Chronicles of Wormwood' and tell me comics are for kids. Oh wait. You’re an ignorant non comic reading fuck so you'd never read it. So how about I just tell you about it.

There is a scene in 'Chronicles of Wormwood', where the Pope, is being fucked in the ass, by a nun wearing a strap on... Yeah, give that to your nephew as a gift at his first communion.
Or even, 'Pride of Baghdad', which features a group of lions who escape from the Baghdad zoo during the opening assault by American troops. Its like Lion King sort of, except you know... with Lion rape.

There are comics for kids, teens, and adults... and for sexually charged adults. Everything from Disney to 'Two Girls One Cup' is covered in the funny books. Or, even something like... I don't know 'The Walking Dead'. Does anything about that show seem like its for children?

Here is some comic book knowledge. Most mainstream comics are for a PG 13 audience, to appeal to both adults and kids. Its actually my understanding, that the all ages market for comics is struggling to stay alive.

People who read comics when they were 14, back in 1968, kept on reading comics. They are now 44 years old. They're not interested in reading Super Hero Squad. They loved Adam West as Batman, running around with Burt Ward, but now, as middle aged men, they want Christian Bale.

There are a million comics that appeal to adults. But on the off chance that you're looking for comics for kids. Based on reputation, I can say that 'Archie Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog' is super popular, but I'd also recommend 'Archie Comics: Megaman', or anything from PaperCutz or BOOM! Studios children books. I can highly recommend, based on experience 'Darkwing Ducks' current series is very enjoyable.

But if we're talking about kids a little more mature, or kids that would appreciate more complex narratives, then I recommend older issues of... well any super hero comic. Old issues of Spider-Man, or Batman are excellent for kids.


Number 2.

“Comics are to much of a commitment of time.”

A comic book movie can range anywhere from an hour and half too two hours. 'The Amazing Spider-man' is in its late 600's. You can't be expected to read all that obviously, though I can applaud you for wanting to... and... I will explain how you can easily and cheaply later. Right now I'm going to be realistic.

Comics, like any hobby, takes a degree of time commitment. It took time to read 'Hunger Games', or 'Game of Thrones'. Most video games are around 40 hours long. You have to schedule in time to sit down and watch 'Breaking Bad' or 'Walking Dead'. Heck, 'Smallville' based around the Superman mythos, lasted ten seasons, a wide audience was committed to watching it each week, for ten years.

Laziness, is a lazy excuse. Yes, comic books do require, if you buy issue to issue, that once a month you buy a chapter. Also requires some research, and a little “general” knowledge. You don't have to read every issue of Spider-man to understand what is happening in Spider-man. But it doesn't hurt to read his Wiki page.


Number 3.

“Comics cost to much.”

Comics used to cost like 5 to 10 cents, this is back in the day when you could get a blowie for a penny. It was a golden age... for comics, not blow jobs.
Now a days, a single issue of a marvel comic in Canada, cost around 5 bucks, and 5 bucks a month is reasonable, but people hardly ever read a single comic title, so four titles? Thats 20 bucks a month, can be kind of costly... But not really.

And it can get even cheaper. I spend a different amount each month, since I collect my comics in hard cover books, or trade paper backs. This means a few things. It means that I'm months behind in stories, so I have to traverse the internet carefully or I may spoil the stories for myself. Also means I have to wait patiently for the next volume to be released.

Trade paper backs/Hard Covers can range anywhere from 15-40 bucks, some omnibus are a lot more, like 80-100, but don't worry about that. Generally collected editions, collect anywhere from 4-30 issues.
That's right, you can get 30 issues for 15$. 30 issues that individually cost around 5$. Don't make me do the math. Its obvious that is pretty cheap. I'll talk about those, cheap collections soon, actually I'll talk about the bonuses to reading collected editions period in a little.

There is also comics on disc that cost, around 50 bucks. Example of this is '44 Years of Fantastic Four' which collects 550 issues. Only problem with this is you don't PHYSICALLY have the books. But you have to understand that the issues collected are a lot of the time is really rare. And as we learned in my first blog post, rare comics can cost a LOT of money.

The point is that comics don't need to cost that much. You can read comics cheaply, or I don't know... for free on the internet. There are plenty of web comics with just as much depth and excitement as any comics on the shelves. And I'll get to them later on as well...


END OF PART 1