Okay, starting today off with the end of my Rainbow Brite 'review'. I know I said that I was going to watch episodes 4-5, but do to lack of time and personal interest (I feel Learned everything I need to learn about Rainbow Brite) I'm going to end with episode 4.
So my run down. What did I think of the show? In all honesty, it was okay. I'm not going to become a fan, but if some day in the distant future, VERY distant future I have a daughter, or niece and I see 'Rainbow Brite' on RedRay I'd buy it.
For a girls cartoon, 'Rainbow Brite' has a slight edge to it. Its villains are dark, and the tone is adventures. Its themes are nothing special, neither is the art style. It just looks like strawberry shortcake, and the themes are the same old 'Carebear' crap. But 'Rainbow Brite' is LESS gay then 'Carebears'.
Speaking of gay, how is it that 'Rainbow Brite' NOT a gay symbol? How does Madonna with her gross tits, and man arms, become symbol of the gay community but not a character named 'RAINBOW BRITE.'

Anyway, to fill out this post a little more, here is “5 Mixed Media Urban Legends!... Some of which I may have made up myself.”

Alfonso Ribeiro taught Michael Jackson how to moonwalk

Who is Alfonso Riberio you ask? You may know him better as Carlton Banks of Bel-air. The guy that does this famous little dance.

The story starts back in 1983. Alfonso had just stared in a Broadway show called “The Tap Dance Kid.” Showing that he had obvious dance talent, he was recruited for a Pepsi commercial featuring the king of pop, Micheal Jackson.

Not the Pepsi commercial where Jackson's head burst into the flame.

No, this one.

See that move Carlton did? The Moon Walk? That was the first time Jackson had seen it. He liked it so much that between takes MJ had Alfonso Riberio teach him the move... its also safe to assume that, considering the age of Alfonso, Jackson touched him... But that's not the point. Point is Jackson learned his signature dance move from the guy famous for not being able to dance well.

A munchkin hung himself on the set of Wizard of Oz

Dwarfism is a fairly rare condition. And back in 1939 when they were called together to film The Wizard of Oz many of them had never even met another midget. What they found out upon meeting one another in a mass scale, was that they had more in common then their short limbs. They also all loved to party!
Every night after shooting the munchkins got completely pissed. 'Shmamered' if you will. Fraternizing together lead to many relationships and bonds being made. One particular paring involved a little person named David Connelly, and an unknown little lady. They started a romantic relationship, and David fell hard. A lot harder then his lady friend.
No one knows what happened. But at one particular Midget fest, the two had a falling out, and David left the party very upset.
The next day he wasn't seen on set... until they had filmed this particular scene.

See that thing swinging in the background of the scene? Thats David Connelly, a heart broken midget.

Die Hard was based on a true story.

The plot of Die Hard is John McClain an off duty police officer is stuck in a office building with a group of 'terrorist'. Shoeless, and armed primarily with his wit, John McClain must survive, and save the hostages, which include his estranged wife. Believe it or not, this story has its roots, lightly buried in the grounds of reality.
The true story takes place in Japan. Where Fu Nakatomi a off duty constable was accidentally invited to a party at an office building (Fu Nakatomi is a common name in Japan). Moments before Fu was to excuse himself from the party the room was stormed by the Asian Dawn terrorist group.
Fu, being the badass he was, was able to reason with the terrorist and have some of the hostages freed. When things appeared to go sour hours later, Fu was forced to kill a terrorist with his bare hands, and rush the remaining hostages to safety.
There is actually a few references to these true events in Die Hard. Such as the building in the film being called Nakatomi Tower, and the tong in cheek joke about the Asian Dawn terrorist organization.

Jackie Chan fakes his injuries.

We've all watched Jackie Chan movies, bubbling with anticipation for the end 'blooper' reel where we get to see Jackie Chan do his stunts and get carried away by paramedics. But have you ever wondered, how do they ever finish a movie if Jackie is constantly breaking every bone in his body?
Its simple... He doesn't actually break any of his bones. Jackie actually FAKES his injuries for the amusement of the audience. It started out as a gag, but spawned into a running gimmick, where Jackie would add lib injuries and then later have them cut into injury reels.
To take this out of the realm of urban legend (That I may have just made up). Lets talk about a strange FACT about Jackie Chan. Did you know that he started out as erotic film star? Its amazing to think that a former porn star would later on in life be the subject of a childrens cartoon.


Steven Spielberg cut off a mans fingers.

To be fair it was an accident. On the set of Jaws Mr. Spielberg was showing off the giant robotic shark (Bruce) to some grips. He showcased the animatronic monsters movements while the men watched. Afterwords they were allowed to inspect the machines mechanics.
When one gentleman placed his hand inside the giant sharks mouth to inspect a system of pistons... well, Mr. Spielberg had this expression behind the control panel.
Deciding to give the grip a scare Steven closed the jaws of... Jaws, on the grips hand. Unfortunately for Steven and even more the grip, the robot sharks controls were a little fidgety. And it clamped down HARD onto the man's fingers, leaving him with four nubs and a thumb.
They rushed him to the hospital and sowed his fingers back on. Steven Spielberg footed the medical bills and the grip, though lacking some feeling, gained full motor functions.

I have slight hoarder tendencies. I own a LOT of crap, some of which serves no purpose. I have drawers full of loose sheets of paper, with scribbled notes, and drawings, and blank sheets... I have plans for them. I swear some day I'll use them.
I develop personal relationships with the strangest things, so quickly, its embarrassing. This has lead to me not only having lots of general shit, but some particularly weird shit.

Number 5

Starting with the least weird, is something I picked up while staying at Super 8 motel. My buddy discovered it in the washroom while releaving himself. And when he showed it to me we quickly debated about who would get to keep it, since it was, to us, hilarious. I've had this item for 3 years now, posted on my wall of random shit.

That item is a long paper bag, labelled in a wispy pink font, as being for, the 'disposal of famine products'. Like I said, I've had it for 3 years, and I feel its the least weird thing on this list.

Number 4

I remember when I was younger I had this magazine from when the Spawn movie came out in 1997... Okay I still have that magazine. But that’s not the item in question. Through out that magazine was pages full of Spawn toy adds, which I loved perusing. I never bought a single Spawn Toy, but I looked at them all the time. OFF TOPIC TIME!

You know how on the back of action figure boxes, they always had their catalogue of figures? Basically a big add for the other toys you could buy. Well I'd always open the action figure boxes super carefully, so that I could keep the adds and look at the toys. One time I bought, what I remember being a 'Transformer' toy, and I had kept the back of the packaging.
I figured my mom wouldn't understand why I wanted to keep it, so I hid it away from prying eyes, under my television stand. Periodically I'd sneak a peek at the toy adds, like I was sneaking a peek at a play boy, then slide it back under.
One day I got home from school and went for my dirty little secret, and it was gone. My mom must of found it while cleaning, and threw it away. I was so sad. THE END

Anyway! The Spawn movie magazine also had adds for movie character cut outs. Mostly Star Wars characters. I was so into the idea, of not just having a life size Chewie, in my room, but ANY superhero, or movie character at all! This interest in owning a cut out proceeded with me long after. And three years ago, that dream of having a cut out came true...

Yep... I have not only a life size cut out of, Savage Lion Man, but Social Savage Lion man. He watches me sleep. Its slightly unnerving, when I forget about him at night, and walk into room only to see a shirtless man in the shadows. I often call out, “John Stamos?” but its never him. Its just the Lion Man. Always, just the Lion Man.

Number 3

You watch enough cheap science fiction, you become pretty accustomed to hearing, stock sound effects. The same old, laser sounds, and Wilhelm Screams.
Have you ever wonder how they make those sounds of the universe? Do they have some kind of 'Ultimate Cosmic sound machine?' or something?... Well yes they do, its called a 'Zube Tube', or in layman’s terms, a 'cardboard tube with a spring inside.'

Here is a demo reel:

My Zube Tube, was given to me by a former tenet, who found it in the trash. Why would anyone throw out something so fantastically awesome? I have no idea. Because making noise is not only fun, it appeals to everyone!... Except the deaf, I guess it wouldn't appeal to them...

Number 2

Our minds are funny things. We love to find patterns, in things that have no patterns, and see things that aren't there. Most notably we love to see faces. Its the thing we're most accustomed to seeing, being that we're humans.

I think the second thing we most often identify is probably... genitals. Our minds love to find dicks and vagina's where there are none. Look at your hard wood floor, and tell me you don't see a vagina in the grain, or look at a vegetable garden, and tell me its not just a bunch of, dirt covered cocks. We all love, faces and genitals.

One day, my friend, and I, were watching television, and eating delicious Cheetos. When I requested that he huck one across the room to me. I had no idea what I was in for. What landed in my hand was not a Cheeto. It could only be described as... a Pheeto. As in, a Cheeto, shaped like a penis and balls.
Neither one of us could bring ourselves to eat the damn thing. Either out of respect for it, or the fear of being called gay. I know if he ate it, I'd immediately lambaste him for being a 'Little orange cock eater.”
Regardless, the Pheeto was sealed away into an air tight bag, and has for ever been in my care... for going on five years now. And I have no intentions of getting rid of it. I'd eat my cat, before I ate it.

Number 1

You know those horror stories, where people order a big mac, bite in, and theres a severed finger in their sandwich? Or people bite into a chicken finger, and there is a bit of beak in it? Well... something like that happened to me, and for some strange reason... I kept what I found, AND finished what I was eating.

I once bit into a chicken ball and... out from it popped... this BIG, OLD, CHICKEN!... feather. Yeah it was weird... Never being one to complain about food,(especially since I know this particular restaurant doesn't make the chicken balls, they order them frozen, then cook them),
I just put the feather in my hat, and called it macaroni. Then soldiered on eating my Americanized Chinese food.
I actually placed the feather in a small salt packet, and carried it around with me for a few days, showing it to whomever would listen.

When I grew bored of it, I couldn't simply throug it away. I had grown attached to the little guy, we had gone through so much. So it now rest in air tight bag, on my wall, of random shit.

I'm actually going to ask a question this week, to anyone that is reading. What is the weirdest thing you own? Where did you get it? Why do you still have it?